Chaotek Thoughts

I’ve noticed that my PCs and party NPCs more often than not tend to be be anti-heroes, rather than heroes.  Some of my favorite characters in games have been patriotic necromancers, vigilantes, addicts, grey Jedi, and a plethora of characters who barely have a handle on their sanity.  For the most part, these characters do not result in intra-party conflicts–despite their evil leanings.  The characters are always loyal to the party, and have an “ends justify the means” mentality.  The characters are always shades of grey (more like a Christmas light in a dark gymnasium).

I don’t think it’s because I’m incapable of playing a truly heroic character, because I have.  However when I do, the games tend to be less enjoyable.  Sure, this might be because I feel constrained by the limitations of being a “good guy.”  However that seems too simple to explain the entire story.

When making a character, I want the character to be interesting.  Interesting might include the shininess of being a little tasteless, but it also includes conflict.  I’m talking about internal conflict and external conflict.  It’s hard to play a conflicted character when you’re toeing the line of goodliness.  To me, a righteous character shouldn’t be conflicted by wanting to do something and not being able to because it’s bad–dark thoughts are just as evil as dark deeds.  The only conflict I come up with for truly good characters is being a lawful stupid paladin, which means your conflict is being a cop for other player characters.

Outside of gaming, some of my favorite characters are anti-heroes, my favorite comics include Punisher, Ghost Rider, Deadpool, Iron Man, Wolverine, etc.  I’m not a fan of true heroes like Superman or Captain America, not that I dislike them but I just don’t enjoy the stories as much because there is far less conflict.

I think the best way for me to play a good character, is to be faced with an enemy who is the dark mirror.  It has been said that heroes are defined by their villains.  Without a truly vile villain to measure up to, I don’t think I have the ability to play a completely heroic character.  Maybe I just have an unfair standard for my heroes…

I’ve been listening to a number of podcasts lately, with many more downloaded but untried yet. About half of them are related to RPGs.

• Accidental Survivors – Focuses on modern gaming, especially D20 Modern. The group is very entertaining and experienced. Lots of good ideas for adventures and characters.
• Astronomy Cast – This is a great show for anyone interested in the universe around us. The cast is entertaining and does a great job at explaining very complex topics, such as dark matter and dark energy.
• The Onion Radio News – A fun short satire story everyday, great for killing a few minutes.
• Order 66 – A Star Wars Saga Edition roleplaying game podcast. The cast is very well informed in how the system works. Some of the extra skits are hokey at best, but the meat of the podcast is very good.
• Skeptics Guide to the Universe & SGU 5×5 – A good podcast for skeptics. The podcast does a good job at not being cynical, rather they try to evaluate if fantastical news is valid or held to scientific standards.
• Totally Rad Show – A video podcast, reviewing games, movies, TV, and comics. Very entertaining.
• X-Play Gaming Update – A 5 minute video podcast, informing mostly about the latest video game news.